


Outcasts

by LostInQueue



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Being the mistake, Ben to the rescue, Ben's a nicer guy than Rey thought, Dangerous immigration tactics, Doing the Right Thing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Family Fights, Feels, First Kiss, Freedom, Gen, Happily Ever After, Loosely based off of Not Cinderella's Type, Mentions of Therapy, Modern Setting, New Job, Opening Up, Police, Restraining order, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey confronts her parents, Rey fails a lot, Rey wants her family to love her, Rey’s birthday, Success, Support, Telling someone, Trouble finding her self worth, avoiding home, ben needs a hug, dockhand, greenhorn, mentions of domestic abuse, shipyard, trouble at home, working multiple jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-07-31 04:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20108926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInQueue/pseuds/LostInQueue
Summary: Rey is a part of a family that doesn’t value her. Instead of breaking, she does her best to hold on. Wanting their love continuously hurts her making it easier to leave to find another way to make them proud. Maybe being successful outside of their home could do it.That’s the thing about Rey... giving up never seems to occur to her. Giving up would mean they win—she’d be the mistake they always claimed she was.





	1. Used

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CajunSpice714](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CajunSpice714/gifts).

> Music inspiration I used for this entire story is Tony Anderson’s album Movements of the Heart (2012)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azuwrite is an absolute mood boarding rock star. She created this and every chapter's mood board for this story and I couldn't be more thankful. <3 <3 You truly are a blessing

[](https://imgbb.com/)

Life is just hard or at least that’s what Rey thought at least. No one else seems to have the problems she does. They have families that love them, to help them deal with their problems together and they still don’t know what they have.

It’s just sad.

For a time, she thought it was just where she was from, being the fact that they moved so much, she really didn’t know what most people did in terms of grown pains within their own families. But here, in this new place, they seemed to all get along just fine. No one ever reported getting grounded or taken “out back”. They never talked about excessive chores that had to be done or extreme etiquette rules which included not opening food that hadn’t been opened, even if she was starving. The same went for offering food to someone else if there wasn’t enough to go around. No one spoke of rules on how the dishwasher needed to be loaded, footprints needed to be avoided while vacuuming, or how laundry needed to be sorted, cleaned, and hung up. Rey’s peers never talked about any of that.

She also noticed how rude they could be. They could say just about anything and not be reprimanded. Some teachers would laugh it off while others just plain ignored them. Idly, Rey wondered if it came with their location. Their town had been exceptionally average, competing with the surrounding ones for validation…or so it seemed.

Her peers at school had it all—everything they could ever wish for was ready and waiting for them before they ever asked. Rey’s sure it’s why she never really fit in since she stopped asking for things since she was little. Things in her family went to her siblings and parents before they ever reached her, and if they ever did, they were literally unusable by then.

People she went to school with seemed to only be interested in was who was dating who, what brands they were wearing, and how popular said people were. They seemed to always be scanning for something too; searching for anything they could gush about wanting and then beg for it pretending to be friendly with her until they got what they wanted and moved on. Rey being the kind soul she was would find herself being the victim of it over all sorts of things including a piece of gum. It had been the strangest feeling. Being wanted. 

The crowd would come around making her feel like one of the important kids. And just like that, it was gone once they had all they were after. Rey truly believed that she could change this, that she could be part of it if she really wanted to, but the more she tried, the more she failed. 

Rey, however, was wanted for plenty at home, but not as a person. She was wanted as a servant girl. 

Things she was wanted for at home went without saying. Her parents looked at her in a different light—far differently than how her siblings were. Rey’s parents had her when they were teenagers and she was reminded of this and often, as if she needed more grains of sand between the sheets of her mind. 

Rey knew she was a mistake. 

She did. 

Rey always kind of knew but it was confirmed out loud by her father when she was nine. 

There had been an incident. They had been in the car for hours. To this day, she can’t remember why but whatever the reason for the trip didn’t matter as much as trying to get her brother to stop teasing her. Rey frowns to try to forget, try to forgive… but no matter how hard she tries she can see what happened after. The vision never seems to leave her. It stings with unspeakable pain.

She can see this as if it’s happening now.

Once the car stopped moving and they all got out, Rey turned. She retaliated on that little worm out in the open. Out where their neighbors could see, out for the world to lay witness to what was happening behind closed doors… but she was nine and still didn’t truly understand what was happening.

Her only rational thought is to take a swing and then another. The moment she connected with her brother her mind throws her upstairs. She knows what happened… how she was punished, dragged up the stairs, thrown down the hallway into her room, her mind blots out a lot but she knows what happened. Instead of the memory being clear, there are only clouds of grey and blue, a figure sounding like her father paces back and forth within them, repeating, “You’ve always been a mistake,” followed by, “You should be thankful your mother kept you.”

The memory lingers every time she looks him.  
Rey, though, remembers the day it was said and how it made her feel…

Unlike all of those books she would read where the main character would die a little inside, Rey felt it was her duty to work harder. She wanted to show that she could do this, to be someone they wanted. She could… couldn’t she?

Over the years, as things cooled, she thought she was turning a page. Just as she believed it though, she found herself failing again. Was there nothing she could do to override it?

Surely not.

She could do this.

And so Rey made every chance matter.

As she got older, school life wasn’t as hard as home life, but it had its struggles. Some of which wound up hurting far more than others when she had to give up the only person that really got her for the chance at a better life at home. Her best friend, Rose, was cut off. Left in the void of which could have been her life had she gotten a chance to enjoy it as a person. Home life didn’t change but the damage was done. Rey had officially become a loner.

Work seemed to change this to a degree. It meant she could leave and be herself. It meant that she didn’t have to stay home and take the abuse, which she knew it was to a degree, but would never say it out loud. Her parents were good to the other two. Deep down she wanted to believe that if she was a boy it would have been different considering how wonderful they were to her brother. The idea didn’t make sense though being that they loved her sister too.

“Mistake,” her memories would repeat to her.

In terms of work outside of her home she was pretty much a jack of all trades. Rey did everything from mowing the lawn, to fixing things, which morphed into her love of mechanics. Working as one never seemed to pan out which left her considering her options. She could pick up meaningless jobs and go through the motions, hoping she might amount to more, or start looking to fulfill her need of being the best, landing a full time job with benefits that could support moving out. 

Being nineteen and a woman made interviewing a laughable experience, or it would be going forward when she got past the fact that she’d been discriminated against. Rey had been her whole life and because of it never really felt like she deserved more than that.

Interviews would come and go making her question her self worth, that is, until one came up while she was already working two mindless jobs. This one would give her options being a part of a large shipping company. There she could disappear and do her job in peace.

The only trouble was that landing it meant travel. The docks were about an hour away and her parents came to the forefront of her mind. They wouldn’t let her have the car… which meant she needed to figure something out… anything… this “real job” could be her ticket out of this mess.

She couldn’t be their mistake if she was successful.

They could be proud of her. 

They would see.

Despite where she was and where she wanted to be, Rey finds herself scouring the internet for a decent ride. It had to be something that could make it the distance and would be all weather. Unfortunately, the only thing that she finds are a jeep missing it’s hard top and drivers side door, or a motorcycle that’s clearly seen better days within her price range. Being that a motorcycle won’t handle all seasons… Rey finds the number, sighing, “The garbage will do…” before calling about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter went into Rey’s background, but doesn’t give names or distinct features for her parents or siblings for a reason.
> 
> Being someone that’s overcome this type of stress/abuse within my own family as a child, I thought it might speak to people like me that hyper focus on certain elements of said family members. I used to watch my Mom’s eyes and eyebrows. I always knew when she’d snap because of the change. They didn’t have to be turned down to know she was angry either. 
> 
> Throughout the story, I keep that consistent adding a few things to notice with Rey’s building anxiety. More than anything, she’s facing her fear, finding herself, and realizing the safety of others throughout this story. 
> 
> If you haven’t seen Not Cinderella’s Type, the movie truly tries to assess emotional abuse, self esteem, relationships, trust, justice, and healing. I hadn’t seen it and rented it on amazon prime if any of you are interested.


	2. Free Anxiety

[](https://imgbb.com/)

The Jeep isn’t horrible, but it isn’t good either. At least she has the bones to work with, Rey thinks. The engine is good enough, not leaking fluid when it stops or anything, so that is a plus. Parts will be a chore to look for, but she could at least work on building it back up, adding what it needed and then some depending on how soon her parents would figure out what she was up to. She was sure they would find a reason to hate what she was doing. They would figure out how to sabotage her. There would be something wrong with the amount she is making or have a problem with it being hers. They’d figure out how to get it.

Rey makes note of that last one, remembering her mother bragging about syphoning money from her account even though she wasn’t on it… That honestly needed to change but how could she do it without getting called out? Switching accounts or making a new one meant that she still had to feed the one she had so that her mother didn’t see the change.

Honestly, it is the least of her problems when she thinks about it. The Jeep is a vehicle. It’s big. It’ll take up space at the house... surely that would be a crime. It would be a reason to get rid of it, or the one they’d tell the neighbors if they were ever asked. Rey knew they’d get rid of it because it was hers, because she shouldn’t be afforded the luxury.

After researching the area, Rey found a parking garage where she could rent a space monthly that was a three mike walk from the house. It was long enough she felt that no one would follow her and not have to worry about them finding it.

Her first day hard her huffing and puffing all the way over in the morning. She’d always been athletic to a degree but three miles with a time restraint is still a trick. Getting to her Jeep and completing the next leg of her commute is that much better. Ok, so what if she had to tie her bag to the shifter to make sure she didn’t lose it when she turned? So, what if the radio only picked up Spanish stations? She has her very own wheels and is turning her life around one mile at a time. 

The docks are exactly what they sound like, docks. 

Only, she didn’t really process that it would be loud there. Far louder than any of the machines she’s ever dealt with, louder than school, louder than home… louder than her jeep on the highway… it was just loud. As she approached from the main road ships blare their horns in a series of honks to let the dockhands know that they’re either coming in, leaving or out right pissed off about being cut off. 

It’s just like the highway, Rey thinks, nearly laughing about it. Well, not exactly laughing. More like she huffed one, making it sound more like half a chuckle.

Either way it was amusing until she realized she might have to be boisterous to get through her job. The only pro she can see is that she wouldn’t be able to speak when she got home. It seems that even now as she’s older and out of the house for most of the day, they still find something to be mad about. Just last week they threw her food, that she made for everyone including herself, on the ground… for saying, “Well, this is what you ordered.”

Okay, it was a snarky way to say it, but Rey had been starting to break and it turns out that her parents lived for that. They wanted Rey broken. It gained sob stories and handouts from the neighbors that they turned and sold for profit. If her siblings were, they were pampered. Her brother, that same week crashed his fourth car and Mommy and Daddy ran off to pay for a new one in a brighter color like that was going to fix the fact that he wasn’t paying attention. Her sister wasn’t much better. The girl would need a makeover every time she went on a date. Every time. She acted as if the guys she was with, and there were many, cared. The typical guy she’d been after treated her like garbage too. It was pathetic to watch but Mommy and Daddy didn’t mind, so long as the guy came from money and would eventually take care of their angel, they would pony up the bill every time. 

Not Rey. 

Though, in some way she felt like she was paying for those things, now that she thinks about her bank account again. 

Rolling her eyes at herself, Rey parked and head off in search of her contact, Poe Dameron.

Poe, as Rey finds out, is of average height, which oddly is calming to her. Next on her features to check for list, she marks off that he smiles constantly, even when there’s a situation, and his eyebrows tell the story faster than his mouth can move. Which, really, that’s a feat in it of itself she thinks, considering Poe is quick.

As fast as he is though, Rey notices he takes real concern with what the workers are up to.

“We’re in a union, after all, and its important to know what’s going on with all of the workers as a whole,” he says, motioning her over to the main office. “Hey guys!” he says holding open the door, “We got a new one!”

Being the new kid in a school wasn’t quite like this welcome. In school, on the first day, depending on where you’re inserted in the school year, Rey could be something amazing for the leeches she remembers that only ever wanted more popularity from befriending someone for a day… or nothing at all. In the office, it was different. They all sort of grunted in their manly ways. Some said “Oh, hey,” others simply lifted their coffees. It wasn’t really a celebration, which she’s more than willing to accept since she never really experienced a welcome wagon for any of her other jobs, so why start now? 

Poe didn’t seem like the type of guy not to take her around introducing her to the staff, so it came as no surprise when he did just that after their lukewarm greeting. He pointed out the fact that this is kind of like high school, if you can accept that then your life will get that much easier. 

Great, she hated high school.

Paying attention, Rey figured out the lay of the land, so to say. She learned about the company, Han’s and Son which honestly had her wondering who Han’s son was and if they were an older group to work with. Glancing around the room again, she notices that Poe and another woman are the youngest of the group, who are actually waving her over for her to sit with them. 

The woman says nothing but stares her down while she approaches. 

Well that’s just great, she thinks, I’ve already made an enemy.

Poe waves his hand over a chair next to him for Rey to sit. When she does the woman leans in, reaching her hand to Rey to introduce herself.

“I’m Gwen, but everyone here calls me Phas.”

“I’m Rey,” she unsteadily returns.

“Good to meet you. I hear you’re on as a greenhorn. That means you’ll be following this guy around all day,” she points to Poe with her thumb. “Don’t take any of his crap—”

Before she can say anymore, Poe is defending himself and being silenced by the owner himself, Han. 

Han had made it into the office, nodding as he does to everyone who offers a “Hey, boss!” 

All of a sudden, they all seem sincere. When did that happen? Was it because he was their boss and could command the room like her parents? Or was it something else? Whatever it was, Rey doesn’t feel threatened by it.

Han’s looks like most men his age. Tired, calm… like the ones that hung out in the part on cool autumn days. But something wasn’t sitting quite right. She knew that particular bend in their brow… and when he locks eyes with her, forget it. It’s over before it begins, she thinks. She’s going to get kicked out before she every clocks in. 

To her surprise, Han is extending his hand to her. Out of respect, Rey stands and shakes his hand back, introducing herself as she goes. 

“I know who you are,” he smiles widely. “I’m looking forward to seeing what you can do.” There seems to be more he wants to say but catches a glimmer of something in her eye, then turns a tiny shadow of a figure passes through the center of it.

“Ah, good,” Han’s says putting his hands up on his hips. “Now that you’re all here, let’s get down to business.” 

The morning meeting is enlightening so to speak. She learned who the figure was that passed through her vision. He’s Ben Solo, Han’s son. He’s big. Really big, in fact, she’s almost positive he has to get his clothes custom made. She’s seen the crew, even Gwen—er Phas must need to wear a men’s extra-large jumpsuit too… the woman is just tall, and no, the uniforms are not flattering. 

Rey wonders for a moment if she would also need to wear one or if they signified work on other platforms. 

As it were, it doesn’t matter at the moment. Han is still talking about changes that are in progress, first with the company under another’s wing so to speak, that is, until his son can figure out what he wants to do. Ben has been given, she rolls her eyes at this, given the ability to take over and all of the responsibilities that go along with owning the shipyard, or taking the alternative route, and selling the company to Jakku-trans which was a company that had all of the same trade routes and is able to offer something to a lot of the worker’s retirement plans, given a lot of them were old enough, or could be in the next few years. 

The room stayed quiet for a long while, their attention shifted to Ben expecting an answer while he stood in the room, but there wasn’t one. He looked unsure. The most put together guy in the room, could not figure out what to do with himself. Questions kept surging from around the three of them, some were heated, others were genuinely concerned while others expected the union to be able to handle this. 

The more they spoke the more she felt it, the pressure. It felt a lot like at home. The anger she’d face every day. Every second she was at home brought more of this to the forefront, almost to the point where she spoke up, but what would she have said? She is the new girl. She needs this job, she reminds herself. She needs to stay hidden in away—she needs…Rey searches the floor to find her bag—she needs to stay. Rey coaches herself down from her anxiety attack. She was fine, all fine, no one was talking to her…

But then they were. 

“We have a new recruit,” Han says. “Rey, why don’t you stand up and introduce yourself?”

Shit. 

Come on!

She nervously rises from her chair giving a sad side wave making her feel younger than she is, and a measly, “Hello, I’m Rey. I’m nineteen and a mechanic but I’m here to learn the ropes so to say.”

Here to learn the ropes, so to say, she repeats to herself, the room staring at her. Rey looks around at some of the guys snickering about this not being the place for a dainty thing like her. Others share their own snarky remarks about this not being a singles mixer, but then there’s Ben, looking at her like she stepped on his puppy. There was no sympathy from him, like he’d been retaliating for her not standing up for him. Is that the ritual? Is the new person supposed to stand up for the boss’s son?

She wants to say something in defense but can’t move. Instead she stands until Poe captures her hand, gently leading her back down into her seat. He looks at her kindly, almost ready to offer a hug, when he’s called up to sort assignments for the day.

It had been the first time in her life that she knew someone wanted to give her affection. That much was true… but she can’t help but wonder what that was all about. Is a hug a normal thing to give out? Rey doesn’t know. It’s not like her family ever did it for her before. Maybe that’s Poe’s thing. He was already kind to everyone. Maybe it was his way to make sure people around him were okay. 

After choosing to go with that… Rey decides to let him coach her up about her position today which helps steady her mind. Several times she told herself that it didn’t really happen. That his affection was there for everyone… not exclusively hers. Being a loner helped steady herself anyways. 

Besides… she snorts at herself. Who would want someone like me? Rey briefly thinks of her parents repeating the words her father gave her that day, and finishing with “mistake,” as always.


	3. Under My Wing

[](https://imgbb.com/)

Poe winds up taking Rey around, getting her gear first, which thankfully had no uniform for, other than a reflective vest and tool belt. On the way out he makes a remark about her shoes and how she’ll want steel-toed boots even though she’s not on any heavy machinery yet.

Rey takes note of everything she sees here, including where Phas and Ben were off to.

“What are they doing?” she nods in their direction.

“WHAT?” Poe yells.

Poe yelling isn’t the first thing that scares her. It’s how his body bows and his face scrunches up before he says it that has her worried. Both of her parents have their scowls that show up right before they scream at her. She thinks she’s right to be frightened by it, but he tries to stop her, this time succeeding. The man nods her into the office again, where they can talk.

“What’s going on?” he asks point blank.

“I just asked you a question,” Rey’s voice drops as she lowers her head. She’d done it so many times before it seemed natural. It feels like this is what her life will become—never getting past where she started, she thinks, as she stares at the floor.

The sound of Poe’s radio chirping stills her thoughts, but he nonchalantly turns it down.

“I didn’t hear you, it’s why I asked you “what?”.

Rey stays quiet.

“Rey, you have to tell me. This place is loud,” he opens the door so she can hear the difference. “We are all loud. We have to be. The radios, engines, cranes, all of it is loud, and if we can’t communicate, someone’s going to get hurt. Now,” he lifts her chin from the floor, “what’s the matter.”

It takes her a while but Poe’s patient. She feels her nerve build like it did at the morning meeting wanting to stand up for Ben, and finally when she does have the nerve to say it, she lets out a shuddering breath before she does.

It’s all Poe can go to keep his face light—emotionless. He’s seen this before but hopes it’s just nerves. It’s her first day after all.

“I thought you were angry with me. O-over a question. That’s all,” Rey rushes out.

Poe nods, turning up one corner of his lips in a way that makes her think he’s accepting that.

“Unless I say something like, ‘Goddamnit, Rey!’ I’m not mad at you,” he tries to reassure her by laughing. “But that’s just me. The guys are loud and angry most of the time. We work long hours, deal with all sorts of politics—try to keep it fair...but it’s not always easy. These workers have families we need to look out for, if we can’t communicate—“

“People could die,” a familiar voice behind them speaks up. “What are you guys doing in here?” asks Ben.

At their silence, Ben runs his fingers through his long dark hair, then the other, tying what he has of it back into a small bun.

“Better not be hitting on the staff,” he says using his father’s tone.

“Shut up,” Poe groans. “Can’t you comment on anything without making it weird?”

Rey flinches at their conversation.

“It’ll do you some good to watch the way the crew talks to each other. You don’t have to mimic them, but it might be good to see who does what do you can see it’s all normal here,” says Poe.

“Why is she teamed up with you anyway, Poe?” Ben asks now heading in their direction. “Shouldn’t she be with a mechanic, like Bill?”

“Nah, it’s her first day. Han has her on accounts to learn who all comes in here first and how to take care of them.”

Ben snorts at this.

“It’s how your dad wants it run. We all started like this and you know it. If you want it done another way, I suggest you stop pussyfooting around and take up the business. Stop giving everyone a reason to panic.”

Ben curls his lips, ready to speak up for himself when the radio chirps.

“Poe,” he answers, “go.”

Rey, for the first time that day, begins to smile and it’s not missed by either of the guys in the room.

Ben mouths, “What?” while Poe’s still listening to the radio.

Rey shakes her head, waiting for Poe to finish.

Again, Ben presses for it and Rey isn’t having it. Is she really fighting with the boss’s son over something she thought was funny?

“Alright guys,” Poe drags his hands over his face, first ship’s coming in which means Phas and you—“ he looks up at the two of them whisper shouting at each other, and frowning at the two of them as they continue. “What’s going on here?”

“She won’t tell me what’s so funny!”

“Ben,” she replies, “Poe was on the call. The radio picks up everything from the outgoing line. Do you really think talking over him would have been a good idea?” Rey’s face feels just as hot as it feels outside. She’s never defended herself—and that came out like a rushing river.

“Rey?” Poe stops her.

Rey looks at Poe obediently and his mind races at that.

“What was funny?”

“The way you answered the radio. Poe-go. Like Pogo... sorry.”

Ben looks at her like she’s nuts, but then it starts to hit him, repeating her slowly, “Like, pogo stick?”

Rey clenches her teeth trying to hide her response.

Ben sends out a ping from his radio, alerting everyone around the yard, including Poe’s and Rey’s.

“Update, all units refer to Poe as ‘pogo’ thanks to the new girl.”

Rey’s mouth drops open. Of all the nerve! Poe is a decent guy—took the time to help her down from the cliff she found herself on, only to be branded with a nickname she couldn’t reverse, because Ben Solo had to use his authority.

Only some pings came back and his response was immediate. All units check in is what he said, the bastard.

“What is the matter with you?” Rey feels the need to question his authority.

“Oh no, sweetheart. I think the real question is, what’s the matter with you?” Ben retorts before heading out.

Rey begins to berate herself for ever smiling at that. She humiliated Poe—no Ben did. Ben used her... he was just like everyone else, she reminds herself. Him and his stupid, attractive... wait what?

She did not have feelings for this guy. Not if he’s that type of guy. Not that it mattered. Her parents would not approve, even being past sixteen, Rey never dated. She never wanted to bring any one in to witness what she knew as her life. Not that they’d really know it, she was sure. They’d put on their fake faces, brag about themselves and what they do and then turn on her after the unsuspecting guy left. They’d find some way to lock her in her room or manipulate her so that she never saw him again. They would too, just like they did to Rose.

Besides, Ben is a jerk and she decides then and there that she won’t be dealing with his garbage. 

“Don’t worry about him,” Poe calls her over to the door to start the day. “He’s going through a lot, too.”

“Too?” she asks cautiously.

Poe rolls his shoulders and rubs the back of his neck before replying. “Well, yeah. Everyone goes through something. You clearly seem like your handling equal weight to mister high and mighty.”

Rey wonders just how much he thinks he knows before letting her mind wander to what Ben’s dealing with. They couldn’t know. Poe couldn’t, could he?

A long pause hangs between then before he moves through the door, holding it open for her. “We gotta move,” he says, nodding out at the filling lot.

Representatives of various companies she recognized headed toward the main office, all looking to collect their imports, except for a couple that always come later in the day. Those groups don’t have the excess crew, which means that once these people are situated and off the property, those not operating the cranes will have to go situate the containers, loading the stock onto trailers at the end of the lot.

Poe is right about everything. Every last person she’s come into contact with has been loud. Their faces contort trying to hear her and to avoid that she’s found her voice by midday. While he’s been right by her side, he’s had her go through the list of experiences that he felt is most important. Conversing with the representatives from each company, learning how to check the paperwork, their badge against what they had on file, scanning their code on the report, as well as the one on each of their containers, which took time, and sorting through the count inside the container with each of them. She learned not to even try speaking while the ships’ horn sounds, or the other ones in the shipyard that aren’t related to their section of the port. She’s figured out most of the groundwork and knows that within the week, she’ll be able to handle this on her own. 

At lunch time the entire yard quieted down. Staff on the day shift all packed into the office to get their lunches or order something. Rey wonders why they didn’t go out for lunch but since she didn’t understand the freedom yet, decides not to go either. 

Good thing she doesn’t, she notices. The bridge she took to get down to the yard was jammed… not the bridge itself, but the traffic. 

“Yeah,” Phas says, “the traffic sucks down here. It’s why they let morning shift out at 4:30pm. Its not about the eight-hour day. It’s about the traffic. If you leave after 4:30pm your fucked. It’s a two-hour drive for me… anywhere north of here, like Bill, he drives like three hours. Tom takes two trains and walks the last few blocks from there… and Han? Well… Han and his family are out west a bit and that damned dual highway over there is always under construction. It’s a miracle we ever see them.”

She doesn’t know why she says it, maybe out of pity, maybe not. Maybe she just understands traffic sucks to a degree, but Rey sort of loves it. It’s time to herself. Time that she doesn’t have to worry about her parents breathing down her neck. Time where her brother and sister aren’t in her face… it’s just time to her. But she still finds herself saying, “Is that why Ben’s such a brat?”

Phas’ face lights up with mirth. 

“He is a brat, isn’t he?”

For the second time today, Rey smiles and nods, trying her best not to bring attention to herself. 

“Who’s a brat?” 

Well, fuck, she thinks. And isn’t it wonderful that the yard and this guy has her internally swearing? 

Phas looks Rey over noting her reddening cheeks. If it were Poe, Phas would have ratted her out to him, but Phas knew Ben for far too long. The kid is a brat. 

“You.”

“Me? I am not a brat! Who—was it you?” Ben turns to Rey who is clearly trying to hide from him. 

“I know you’re a brat, Ben,” Phas starts. “How long have we known each other?” 

“Long enough that you wouldn’t have called me a brat.”

Phas starts to laugh. 

“And what would I have called you?”

“Asshole.”

“You know it. But brat seemed—”

Ben playfully pushes her off the bench where she sat next to Rey. 

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Ben cocks his head to the side. A tendril falls from his messy man bun, calling attention to the glimmer in his eyes. 

Is he amused?

Is he making fun of me? Rey wonders. 

Rey hates it when people make fun of her, especially this guy. Who does he think he is?

“Yes, I called you a brat,” Rey says, trying to control her nerve. 

“And why would you call me a brat? You don’t even know me. Do you think that’s fair?” he asks with some sense of sincerity in his voice. 

“You think what you did this morning was fair?”

Ben has to think about this. What did he do this morning?

“You really don’t know what you did this morning?”

“It was a long morning,” he says defensively. 

“And so, you forgot? It must be nice to forget,” she says trying to keep it to herself. 

“And what do you mean by that?”

“By what?” she tries to deflect. 

“You’re doing it too, not answering the question. You aren’t as direct as you pretend to be.”

“I didn’t pretend to be anything. The nickname. The one you gave to Poe this morning and made everyone ping him as Pogo instead of Poe, that… that makes you a brat, happy?”

“Very,” he says smugly as if he just won something. 

“Great, why don’t you go then… seeing as you got what you wanted.”

“I don’t think I will,” Ben leans in over the table taking up far more room than he as to. 

“Fine,” Rey packs up her bag, readying herself to leave, when he stops her, calling over his shoulder to Poe. 

“Pogo!”

Poe flips Ben off while refilling his water bottle. 

“I’m taking your little princess here to do real work after lunch. See what she’s really made of.”

“You can’t do that. I’m assigned to Poe,” Rey protests. 

“And who do you think assigned you?” Ben asks, enjoying morphing expressions. 

“You don’t own this company, so it wasn’t you.”

“But I might and if I do, I’d like to know my staff. You are a part of the staff, aren’t you?” 

“Currently,” she replies. 

It’s all Ben can do not to spit his drink when she answers him. She’s funny, he thinks, and…he likes her. 

“Well then, we should be friends,” he suggests. “And what better way than to spend the whole afternoon together under my wing?”


	4. Opening Up

[](https://imgbb.com/)

Something is up, Rey thinks. 

She wonders if it’s weird that her maybe boss wants to be friends with her. Like she could handle that. Home comes to mind again but then their walking out the door to his station. Rey needs to pay attention. 

If she doesn’t, she’s sure she’ll make an idiot out of herself. That’s the last thing she needs in front of this guy who has no issues with throwing his “friends” under the bus so to speak. Becoming Ben’s friend is alarming and she’s almost positive she’s used every stance she’s ever used against her siblings in the last few moments, aside from that one time they fought, just to get away from the guy. 

“What is your deal?” he asks. 

Deal? What is my deal? Rey snorts in her mind. She was fine working on the lot. She was getting better with Poe, and now having to switch to Ben’s leadership, she finds is making her on edge again. 

“My deal?” she tries to ask innocently. 

Ben eyes her. Another strand of hair falls out of his manbun making it obvious he needs to try tying it back again. 

“Yes, your deal. I want to know what’s up with you. You act weird, like, all the time. It makes people uneasy,” he says while he reties up his hair. 

“I don’t make people uneasy,” she tries to hold her ground as she speaks. 

“You make people—you make me uncomfortable. This is practically my home and taking you on was a big deal to my family. I want to know you and why you hate me so much.”

“And that’s why you want to be friends?”

“I want to know you.”

“Why?” Rey asks with a little more emphasis to her question. No one ever wanted to know her, she reminds herself. There was another underlying issue here. Something he wasn’t saying. Why would he really want to get to know her? Does he want to exploit her like her family does?

“Is it really that bad to want to know someone?”

“I’m not someone you really need to know,” she says trying to look in any other direction than his. 

“Is that how you really feel?” Ben shifts to gain her gaze. “Do you really think you’re no one? You made me laugh this morning. No one ever makes me feel like that here. Everyone just sees the boss’s son that won’t take over the company because he’s a selfish brat.”

“I didn’t call you selfish. I don’t know you like that.”

“But you did call me a brat,” he adds.

“No, you came in at the end of our conversation,” she notices how he hangs there, waiting for her explanation, and so she continues. “Phas and I were talking about commutes, and after this morning I figured that’s why you were being a brat… and of course, instead of hearing any of that, you only heard ‘brat’.”

Ben nods. 

“So, what’s the rest of it?”

“What do you mean?”

Ben waves over her form. 

“There’s something off. Like, something you’re hiding. You don’t have to hide it from me.”

That’s the thing though. She was certain she could hide her life from work. No one needed to know what went on back at home. No one needed to know what it was doing to her… and yet people seemed to just know.  
How did they know?

“Here. Come on, I want to show you something. You’re not afraid of heights, right?” Ben asks. 

“No, not that I know of…”

“Not that you know of,” he laughs, guiding her to his station. 

Ben, like Phas, is a crane operator. The uniforms she had seen them in before were to handle some of the maintenance on the body of the crane they controlled, themselves. Each shift they make sure that every piece of the hardware is up to code so that if there are any issues during loading and unloading the company doesn’t get nailed for being inept. He’s explained past experiences where he’s been the scapegoat for a lot of issues as a greenhorn. 

“It’s just the lay of the land,” he says. 

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Says the girl that’s worried about telling me her big secret,” he offers her a hook for her belt informing her that this is just precautionary for new operators.

“But, I’m not a new operator,” she retorts.

“But you could be—if you wanted to. Just like we could be friends if you wanted to…I’m… look… I’m sorry I was a jerk this morning,” he reaches for the ladder showing her how to clip and unclip as she climbs. “When we get up to the top, I’ll get them to stop, as per your request. They’ll all ping in just like this morning and that will be that. Better?”

“Better,” Rey gives a genuine half smile. 

“So, do you think we can be friends?”

“What is it you really want out of this friendship?” Rey asks. Its painfully difficult to assume the worst even though he’s really trying to fix things. 

“I just want to know you. Please, just, can we start there?”

A gust of wind blows through the secured ladder throwing her against the rungs. For once she’s worried that trusting him was the wrong idea and that she’d have to climb down any moment out of fear of this place. What would come of her then? Would they get rid of her if she couldn’t preform?

“Easy there,” Ben guides her to take the hook to clip it to the next set of bars. “It gets bad in the winter. These clips, while they’re reinforced and can hold up to ten thousand pounds, are all that stand between you hanging on and falling off. Just focus on this and we can talk when we get up there. Okay?”

Rey nods, analyzing what he had to say and the soft tone he had when he delivered it. He seemed… different. Like he was trying. Maybe it would be okay to give him the time of day while they were here. She could have work friends that weren’t “all the time” friends, right? Her parents wouldn’t pick up on that if she was careful… right?

Wrong. She knows this. Even being at the shipyard eats at her. She knows that they’re stewing at home, wondering where she is, even though she said she would be working. 

But maybe, maybe he would understand if she told him. That’s a new thought. One she hadn’t considered. If she did tell him, how would she say that her parents were controlling monsters that emotionally abuse her? How could she even approach such a thing?

By the time they arrive on the platform, Ben is climbing up beside her, pressing his palm into the side of the car. 

“This was my father’s idea. It turns out people are crazy,” he shrugs. “I’ve never seen a crane-heist, but if they can get to the merchandise in the containers, it’s a different story. You’d be surprised how many people send over their luxury vehicles by sea.”

“How many have lost them by shipwreck?” Rey counters, and he stops. 

“You know… it’s questions like that which make me wonder why you didn’t think of joining us sooner, princess.”

“I’m not a princess,” Rey says wanting to shove him, but given their location decides against it. 

It’s as if he’s waiting for it though. Ben wanted a reaction, anything, actually, to make sure she was listening, and he was getting a rise out of her… But the second he realizes she’s holding back for his safety Ben softens.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ve never been a princess to anyone.”

“You could be mine.” Ben tries to swallow his words, it’s obvious.

“Is that why you wanted to be friends? To have a chance to get in my pants?” Rey retorts. Because that certainly wasn’t happening anywhere near home. Or anywhere. Oh, god, is she blushing at her forwardness?

“I—uh, I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t just see a pair of legs and decide to chase them.”

“That’s… That’s not what I meant.”

“But it’s what you said,” he reminds her. 

It is what she said isn’t it? Why wasn’t she any good at this?

Another gust of wind pushed her sideways and Ben reached out his arm to hold her against him. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking down at her with his big sappy brown eyes, trying to promise her that he truly is.  
“I’m sorry, too,” she follows his apology. 

“Friends?” Ben asks once more with hope in his eyes.

“Alright, Ben,” she nods, “We can try.”

His smile is brilliant and rewarding. Rey feels like she’s chipped a layer of crud off of the man when he smiles at her. Is it supposed to be like this? When Rose smiled at her, she was wonderful and full of life… and he, well, he looks the same right now. Like he could damn well explode. 

The horn blast from up here sounds so far away. Technically, it is, and still Ben jumps. He does his best to not show that it startled him and offers her into his cab before the real work begins. 

“So, you got to do the groundwork with all of the clients this morning, right?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” she situates herself behind him surprised by how they have their glass to steel ratio in the design. 

“You’re okay, right?” 

“Yeah, yep.”

Ben smiles his side smile, explaining that the set up has to be this way so that the operators can see the containers underneath, if they’re secured, and how to move—even fractionally, because the lots are paid for.  
“If we go over by even a fraction of an inch, there will be problems.”

“What kind of problems?” Rey asks.

“There are fines involved between companies, and then they usually come back at us to pay for it. It’s a money-making scheme by the shipyard but we don’t own the whole property so it’s just better to be on top of it,” Ben giggles when he realizes what he said.

Rey nods. 

“So, how did you get into this?” she asks. 

“I was pushed into it by my dad. He always wanted someone to take over the family business, and for that person to be blood related so he could always have a hand in it… but as far as I’m concerned, that’s not retirement. That’s a control issue.”

Rey snorts at that. She knows all about control issues. 

“What?” Ben looks at her curiously. 

“Nothing,” she tries to hide herself in this tiny box. 

“Oh, no, its not nothing. You can’t snort at what I said and decide not to act on it. I’m calling friendship rules on that one.”

“Friendship rules? What on earth are friendship rules?”

“You know, like the unspoken code, the ones that make sure you look out for each other? This one is the one where you have to answer the other, even if it’s to flip the bird, like Poe did to me.” Ben chuckles.  
“Fine, you said something about them having control issues,” she huffs. “I know plenty about control issues. Not mine of course, people I know… that’s all.”

“And who are these people? Anyone I know? Poe does not have control issues; I can assure you that. Maybe self-control around the donuts in the kitchen… he likes the eclairs. I’m pretty sure he can eat six in one sitting. Who else—”  
“Not anyone here,” she tries to hide the hurt in her voice. 

“At home?” Ben shifts to see her face after setting down container number fifteen. 

Her silence is deafening. Rey feels almost like she can tell him, that he won’t hurt her, but then again, everyone seems to and that’s enough to hold back. 

“You know, its okay. A lot of people go through that, I did.”

Rey tries to hide the hurt that comes from his admission. It never occurred to her that anyone outside of her home could ever really understand her. And yet, here he is telling her his life story. 

“I felt, so alone when they sent me to military school. I mean, it was my choice, but for some reason, being a kid and going through that level of discipline sort of got me, you know? It made me feel like an outcast when I came home. My friends, or, who I thought were my friends, moved on without me. My parents pushed me to do this, and when I went away for school, it was the first time I had ever felt free. I guess, maybe that’s why I don’t really want to make a decision on the company. It’s my dad’s you know? If he wants to sell it, fine. I mean its not like he needs it anymore. My parents are well off and have been for a while now. Its why the guys and Phas make what they make… its why they’re all still in a union even though the other companies did away with their unions. Its what makes this feel like a home outside of home to these guys, and I can’t just waltz back in here and take what my parent’s have built. No one really sees me as an adult yet, even though I’m almost thirty. I still have that greenhorn branding even though there have been a few come in and take that acting role. And you’re here now with far more experience than I ever had in mechanics, and they’re stuffing you in this role because its just what they do. It doesn’t make sense to me and I think you should be elsewhere—where I know that you could handle yourself. But whatever this is. This… receding on yourself… what ever that is has to stop. I can’t look out for you if you’re doing that. It makes the guys crazy.”

“Ben, it’s a learned behavior. I can’t just turn it off whenever I feel like it and I’m certainly not doing it for attention,” Rey does her best to swallow her hurt. The sensation climbs her throat, threatening to choke her. “You’re the first person, I’ve ever told. Not even Rose knows.”

“Who’s Rose?” 

“She was my best friend, before I had to let her go,” she says, while a tear rolls down her cheek.

“Why would you let go of someone that truly knew you?” Ben’s face contorts in confusion. 

“Because they said they’d be better to me if I just listened, but it didn’t—it didn’t get better. It never does…” Rey tries to swallow her words as if she could, then tried to shed her tears. 

The confines of the cab make it hard for him to turn to hug her, so instead, he wordlessly places her hands around his neck offering his back to her, repeating, “Let it out…I’m here. I’ve got you.”


	5. Ben's Type

[](https://imgbb.com/)

Ben is warm and comforting, regardless of where she rests her head. At first it was all Rey could do to put the crown of it between his shoulder blades, releasing years of pain that had been bubbling up to the surface at every pass. Her release is cathartic, just having someone to hold on to made all the difference. Ben isn’t in her imagination. He isn’t a pillow she clutches at night. He’s real, living and breathing in this tight little cab, listening to her let go. 

It should be embarrassing. It should be awful. But here he is comfortably in his chair, trying to talk her down while clipping into the next container to import the next load, and so on and so forth until the side he manages is empty. 

Rey’s since slowed, her mind drawing blanks as to where she is and what she’s supposed to be doing, when Ben covers her hands with his, asking, “Do you feel any better?”

The only answer she can come up with is that she feels numb. What is better? Better than destroyed? What is considered a step above that? But she can’t imagine that’s what he wants to hear. What was the word he used? Better? Does she feel better?

“Rey?” he runs his thumb over her knuckles before leaning his cheek to rest on them. 

“I,” Rey does her best trying to formulate words. “I feel empty.”

Empty and better are two very different things and yet she doesn’t sense his panic. He seems calm while he stays seated in this position.  
“I don’t think you’re empty, Rey. I think you’re full of life that’s dying to surface,” he says calmly. 

Her breath shudders feeling as though she could start up again at any moment, when he squeezes her other hand, promising they could do this every day. Poe can have her in the morning, and he could have her in the afternoon. 

“We can do exactly this, every day. And when you start to feel better, maybe we can start talking about stuff. I assure you, my childhood was far from fun, sometimes my mom wonders how I turned out like this after being the turd I was.”

“How you turned out like what? You’re the most caring person I’ve come across besides Poe and Phas.”

“If you were mine first, you wouldn’t have even known they were good people,” Ben says smugly. 

“Pfff, now who’s fault is that?” Rey moves to sit back in her seat while Ben reluctantly let’s go. 

“I suppose it’s mine, but how was I supposed to know you were going to be my type?”

“And what is your type, Ben?” Rey can’t help but ask now that it’s in the open. 

“I like nice girls, Rey. Ones that aren’t bent on being better than someone else just because they have some personal vendetta against another person. I like girls that are honest with me and while most guys can’t handle it when a girl cries around them, it makes me feel like I’m some sort of hero for being there. For being the person, they can turn to.”

“You sound like you do this often,” Rey tries to make a joke, but Ben promises her that it’s not the case. 

“I’ve only been with a handful of women, all from different walks of life, but all good, honest women who have moved on for all different reasons. I can’t force someone to be with me. A lot of them went on to either go to school, finish school, get better jobs, whatever. But when it came down to our relationship, I never felt like I was being cheated because our communication lines were strong.” Ben says trying to turn to see her face when he continues. “Because of this. What we just shared… I feel it with you too. I feel like we could be something great.”

Rey swallows. Ben said he wanted to be friends and it was just granted today and in the same day he’s practically telling her they’re meant to be because she’s his type. 

“Do you think we could take this slow, please? We just started being friends, today, and now you’re talking about becoming my boyfriend.”

Ben grimaces and looks away from her sort of pained by his forwardness and her inability to decide on what she wanted. She held him close, he let her cry, he did all of the good things a nice guy does. 

“Ben,” Rey says softly, leaning back over his seat to him. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before. My parents are extensively strict, and they said I couldn’t date until I was sixteen. But I have no freedom. They don’t trust me, never have, so I never tried breaking the mold. I never tried getting out much less talking about it. It’s hard. And scary, and if you ever tell anyone, I’m telling you right now, I’ll come up on the news as a missing persons case, I just know it.” Rey pauses when his body stills. It’s almost like his whole body, every muscle tightened underneath her. 

“Don’t go home,” he nearly begs her. 

“I can’t do that either. I have nowhere to go, and even if I did I did, they’d find me, and tear my apart.”

Ben holds her hands tighter, “So long as you know what you’re doing by allowing this.” 

“I’m safer if I don’t awaken the beasts. Going against them makes my life a living hell. More-so than it needs to be.”

“You’ll tell me if you change your mind?” 

Her answer helps him relax when she agrees with more than a nod. 

“Yes, I’ll tell you if it changes. But for now, I have to continue this path.”

The rest of the day goes without a hitch. Ben shows her how to punch out with her card which is an awful lot like the other three times she had done it, once for in, once for out for lunch, and once for “coming back in” from lunch. But he seemed to really want to, so there they went back into the main office to learn how to use the time clock. Rey notes how it seems to make his heart happy that she’s letting him help her, so Rey just goes along with it. 

What was she hurting by allowing it?

Nothing, she thinks, absolutely nothing. As she came around to the thought of always being found out or followed around by this man, she smiles. He’s nice and enjoys her for some reason and that in it of itself is a pretty intense feeling.

Nice, but intense. 

Maybe not for other girls, but Rey isn’t some other girl. 

Making it out to the employee lot, Ben walks Rey to her jeep and oh, the face he gives is priceless.

“It’s what I could afford,” Rey pushes him. “Don’t look at it like that ‘Ole’ Spaniard’ has feelings too.”

“Ole’ Spaniard?” 

“My Jeep’s name.”

“That’s what you named it?”

“Yeah, why?”

“The radio only play’s Spanish stations.”

“Ole’ Spaniard…” Ben tests out again, opening her door only to find out she doesn’t have the other. “Rey?” his voice strains when he asks about it. 

“It’s what I could afford,” Rey hops in and starts the engine. 

“Well now you have a real job and get paid on Thursday. Make sure you bring in either a check or account information so that we can set up direct deposit for you tomorrow morning,” he says, helping her with the door. She can sense his concern but right now it’s time to go. Phas said 4:30pm or rot in traffic and it’s now 5:03pm. God save her soul, she thinks. 

As much as she can think about what it is, they’re going to do, she still feels lighter since this afternoon in the cab. Rey has so much here. So much with Ben now, that her parents seem to just fall away, as she watches him shit her door. 

“I will. Thanks Ben, for everything.”

Ben finds himself still standing in the lot as he watches her drive away in that death trap of a metal box. He can still feel the weight of her on his shoulders, the press of her head against his back. He can still hear her release and finds himself dying to know how deep her pain runs. 

With a final wave to her, even though she’s a speck at the intersection, just as he is to her on the dock, Ben flicks on his radio, calling to Poe who says his usual, Poe—go, which Ben still finds hilarious. 

“Listen, I need your help doing some background work on Rey.”

“What kind of background work?”

“I want you, Phas and the guys to keep an eye on her. Record anything that looks out of the ordinary. Take notes on things she says, what she does, changes in body language, or if she has marks on her that hadn’t been there the day before and see if she starts wearing an excessive amount of makeup.”

Poe sort of saw this coming. The both of them caught a domestic violence case starting with one of their staff members early last fall, where they found out that Steve, their old office manager, was coming in with black and blue knuckles which had to be observed before they could act on it. 

“Anything else?” asks Poe genuinely concerned for his new morning shadow.

“Pass that information around without her knowing. I want everyone looking out for her,” Ben shakes his head with a sigh and its almost like Poe can see him when he does it.  
The man still asks, “You okay?” followed quickly by, “What did you learn up there in the death trap? I mean cab?”  
“A lot and nothing. Its why I need you to do this for me. We need to build a file for her so we can take this to the next level if we have to. The girl needs to be protected—there’s—there’s something going on at home that no one deserves,” he pauses. “Certainly not her.”

Next, Ben stops in by the office to change, dump off his gear, and snaps his head back to the filing cabinet by the door. Her file! Her file would tell him about her, at least something about her to say the least. Unfortunately for him, though, he doesn’t find much except her address, credentials, and her birthday which he sees isn’t far away. 

Hmm, he thinks, what to do, what to do?

\---

Going home is stressful. The waves of doubt of all of her preparation to take care of this new job and all of the things she’s had to do to secure it start rolling over her, one by one, then two by two… she knew what the punishment was for crossing them. Mom always had something up her sleeve, like she was referring back to a list… when Rey was younger, she thought that receipts were Mom’s master plans. It wasn’t until later on in her life that she realized what they really were. Dad would rage fit. When she was a child the man already had been balding, so when he would frown, it wasn’t just his face that would follow. His wrinkles in his brow would travel so far up his head that she thought the absolute worst was coming. As she found out, the man rarely hit her. Most slaps came from Mom and because of it she’d stand silently and only repeat what they wanted like a robot. 

If they had control, they were safe enough to live around, even if Rey’s nerves were on high alert while she was under their roof. 

Before she knew it, her commute was over, even the three mile walk back was ending, just feet before her front door. During the walk she hid her day, down deep, so deep they wouldn’t be able to see a hint of it bubble out of her. Rey’s only safe space is her room and it would be hours before she got there. Just because she’s working a fulltime job now, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her evening chores to do. 

Morning had been done in the morning to avoid any issues with their schedules. Breakfast had even been cooked and cleaned up before she headed out. On the way in tonight, Rey notices garbage all over the lawn. Something must have gotten into the garage. Instead of going in, she cleans the yard, picking up every piece of trash she can, only to get back to the garage to be spooked by her Mother.  
This was a set up. 

“Where have you been?” her Mother hisses.

Rey’s eyes drop down to the floor, still holding the trash tight to her body so that she doesn’t have to pick it all up again. 

“Well?” her Mother presses. “Have you any idea what time it is?”

That’s a rhetorical question. Her mother knows and doesn’t want an answer. She’s only looking for sorry. 

“I picked up another job, Mother,” she pauses. “I thought it could help.”

The tension in their small garage seems to lessen. Money always seems to help. It’s not a bribe. Its not a gift. But something about it seems to lessen the blow. Her Mother gives her a curt nod asking about the hours she’ll be out and expecting her to do a thorough cleaning after she gets home. She’s no longer responsible for cooking dinner at night, but since she has a job, they’ll be ordering out from their favorite—expensive—restaurants until she returns to cooking nightly. 

Rey keeps her eyes low, nodding in response. 

Once her Mother leaves, Rey takes a deep breath before starting off to her nightly chores, cleaning up after their family.


	6. Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter goes over something that does happen during importing and exporting goods. It is, for the sake of the individual's lives, taken care of by each company differently, but there is a protocol that they must follow during times like these. It goes over immigration through the use of containers, but avoids going into great detail of the sickness and death that they can and ultimately do suffer in the real world.

[](https://ibb.co/qYPs76R)

In the weeks that pass, Rey finds herself doing exactly what Ben said. She would follow Poe until she was handling the morning by herself, with only a few questions here and there. Some accounts were complete garbage. Literally. Countries overseas were sending their garbage via container which still had to be opened and sorted through so that they could find any “survivors”.

The very thought made Rey’s stomach churn, immediately feeling stupid for letting her problems eat away at her. Her feelings, she thought, shouldn’t matter as much being that she lived in a free country… even if she didn’t actually feel free. It wasn’t as bad as these immigrants stuffing themselves into a hot metal container surrounded by decomposing matter.

Han showed up with the police, handling it as they would regardless of Rey being there or not.

“You’re off for the day, kid,” Han says, patting her shoulder.

Rey looks up at him in a panic, “Please, can I stay?”

“It’s protocol, kid. Senior members and the police stay for this, I can’t ask you to stay. It’s for your mental health, to process what you’ve just seen.”

“Don’t pay me then. I’ll clock out.”

“I can’t have you on the dock if you’re off the clock, Rey,” he says putting on his mask to start breaking down the container.

Senior staffers stop their day to get this cleaned up, each following with the same gear, including Ben who gives a knowing smile.

“If you want to stay, you can,” he looks down into her eyes, wondering why she wants to stay for something like this finding no fear. It’s almost like she isn’t afraid of it. Strange. “You can wait for me in the office and when I’m done we can go out to lunch.”

“Wont the traffic be bad?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he pats her shoulder, “I can stay late if necessary to catch up on my time, and there are other crane operators on staff. If they have to cover, it’s no issue.”

Rey gives a slight nod, watching him walk off into the mess.

It’s been hours, despite the size of their crew.

Each of them seem a little more destroyed by it at every pass.

Ambulances make their way through, taking everyone Han’s crew finds a way to their respective hospitals. His men are sent to be cleaned up and anyone with children at home have ubers called to dive them back to their families. Their vehicles would be safe on the dock as it is a restricted area, and each of them seemed to know that they would be picked up in the morning for their next shift at the company’s expense.

All the while, Rey wonders why they would go to such extremes to look after these people. Not that she didn’t think they needed to be… but more that the level of care here surpassed all she ever knew. Han had their backs… which made more sense as to why Ben cared for her the way he did—does… the way he does.

Lunch doesn’t wind up happening. By the time the last of it is finished, even Ben looks beat. He and his father are the last to emerge. She watches as he pats Ben’s shoulder in a compassionate way bringing tears to her eyes. Ben deserved that. He really did. He deserves to feel like one of the guys, especially being that he was always quick to do the right thing.

His father pulls off his work gloves, opening the door to Rey who is still there, ready to question why she stayed when Ben calls over his shoulder to her.

“Great, I’m glad you’re still here. Give me ten minutes and you can help me breakdown the dock so the ship can leave in the morning.”

Rey panics.

She’s dead.

She’s going to die.

Her parents don’t know where she is and if her chores aren’t done she’s—

But then he’s looking for her for confirmation. His eyes are wide and hopeful, it’s as if he wants to make this right too. Like he’d do anything to correct it.

“You’re, sure you’re okay right? I could—

Rey nods, feeling comforted by him, confirming that she’ll wait.

This is dumb, but no amount of punishment will stop her from spending time with him. She’d already lost the hours of the day that mattered to her the most and would take whatever hell they’d have for her at home, regardless of what it was, just to spend more time with him.

___

By the time he gets back, she’s already ready to go up. The sight of her ready for him makes him smile. To Ben, Rey waiting for him in her gear is far more rewarding than seeing her all dolled up. They have something in common here and that’s all he’s ever wanted. She seems calm. Secure… and part of that he has to congratulate himself on, but it’s mostly her doing and he knows this.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Ready,” she returns.

They both start their way up to their usual hangout, his cab in silence. The climb at night is only lit by the setting sun and some orange security lights positioned on the encasement itself, making it a little harder to navigate even though it’s a straight shot up. 

“There’s no rush,” he says. “Just think about what you’re doing.”

Reaching the platform has his heart hammering in his chest. What if she doesn’t like it? They’ll be all the way up there and… but before he can finish his thought they’re already to the top platform. 

“Wow,” he hears her say. “Is this perk of working at night?” Rey nods at the view. 

The sunset setting on the horizon under dark bands of clouds is brilliant, he nods, looking back at her. It reminds him of every time he’s ever hugged her, or she’s held him. This space brings him just as much peace as it seems to for her. Out in the open, safe… here with him. It’s all he can do to agree. 

“One of them,” he offers her to climb in first.

Rey stops in her tracks, not daring to go in. 

He watches her process the cab as if it’s a trap. It isn’t. He set it up the moment she agreed to stay with him so that it didn’t melt throughout the day or get snatched up by Poe. That guy and his sweets, Ben rolls his eyes. 

A single vanilla cupcake is set on his station, ready and waiting for them with a battery-operated candle stuck in the tower of frosting. 

“Ben?” she whispers, as if she’s stuck in place. 

“It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?” he asks shyly. 

“How did you know?” she whispers again, trying to hold back her tears. 

He knows even though she’s facing away from him. 

“I looked up your file,” he winces a little when she turns to him. “I wanted to do this at lunch but with everything that happened today, it—I just, I didn’t want to let it go. I’m glad you stayed,” Ben admits reaching for her hand. 

He watches her, waiting for anything, when a single tear falls from her cheek, sparkling as it drops, like magic. 

“I—I don’t… This?” Ben’s eyebrows lift as she struggles with her words. 

She doesn’t like it.

“I—haven’t celebrated my birthday in years,” she admits shaking her head. “You didn’t have to do this.”

Ben reaches for her other hand asking why. He knows she’s battling with something. But he’s been there for her before. Every time she’s needed him since they’ve met, he’s been there. 

“They don’t love me. I can’t—I didn’t think I deserved one, so I stopped.”

“Rey,” Ben’s eyes fill with his own tears. “You deserve this. You deserve to celebrate your life. You’re amazing—everything to me. Please,” he can’t help but hold her close. “Please celebrate this with me. Celebrate them all with me? Even if you only ever want to be friends, just please give me this?”

He feels the way she leans her head onto him, just as she always has, but this – this felt different. It feels… like she’s accepted him. Rey’s warm and small. And when he wraps his arms around her, he feels like he’s become her cocoon. When he releases her, he always feels like he’s building her up, but this time… it feels like more. 

When she finally releases him, he can see it. She’s looking at him differently. It almost hurts him to notice it, but he’s been dying for this. For her. It must have emboldened her, he thinks, when she shifts up to her tip toes to reach him. All of a sudden, it’s too fast, he’s wanted this, dreamed of it, but they aren’t in the cab. They’re hooked onto the ladder out on the platform, but he lets her. 

He watches as her tongue darts out to wet her lips, he’d seen that a million times. She always seems to when she’s thinking… but she’s trying, he can feel her wanting to reach him. He’d only tossed the line out to her a hundred times or more already, promising that she is who he wants. Maybe it worked, but then there’s no more thinking, she’s pressed her lips against his making him feel weightless. 

They should really be in the cab. 

Stopping her seems wrong though. She’s been excused from so much, he could give this to her, despite feeling like they could fall. And so, he leans into her, kissing her back, one hand coming up to cradle her head and the other wrapped firmly around her waist. 

She feels like heaven. Wonderful, soft and sweeter than the icing he licked off his finger before. 

She’s his. She’s his. She’s his, he can’t help but remind himself over and over again. 

When she does lean back, breaking their connection ever so slightly, she looks like she’s glowing. 

“Thank you,” she whispers against his lips. 

“Thank you,” he parrots her watching her brow bend in thought. “Thank you for being you. Thank you for being mine…just thank you…”

Before she can add to it, he admits to wanting to go into the cab for a few reasons, including not wanting any accidents with his beautiful girl on this beautiful night. Rey chuckles at this promising she doesn’t need anymore, tragedy in her life. 

“Only happy endings, please,” she rolls her eyes, stepping into the cab. 

He watches her as she bends to pick up the cupcake and now that he can see it, he starts to sing to her. When he’s done, she shakes her head, asking “Is it your main purpose in life to make me cry?” 

“I do like to get a reaction out of you, yes… but no, I just want you to feel special,” he whispers while leaning over the threshold. 

“There’s no way you’re going to fit in the back,” Rey offers his chair back to Ben. 

“I’ll manage. Besides, I want you to get the best seat in the house.”

“What do you mean by that?” 

“You’re old enough to start training, maybe get your license to operate in the next year?” Ben suggests. 

“I’d… You’d really?” Rey starts asking but finds that not even her words fall into place. 

“Yeah, I would. But after the cupcake… can’t be messy up here,” he explains. 

Rey nods, moving enough to the right to let him scoot behind her. Being overly alert thanks to her parents, Rey can feel his eyes on her, so she turns asking if he’d like a bite. 

“If it’s not too much to ask…” he says sheepishly “I dropped the other one on the way up, I’m pretty sure it slid down the side of the ship,” Ben points to the binoculars. 

Sure enough it’s. A streak of blue icing slid down the hull while the cake itself must have landed in the water. What would have normally been embarrassing to sit through had it been done with anyone else, isn’t. He’s rewarded with something far more valuable than that sweet treat. Instead, he’s enjoying the sound of her laughter which fills the cab and his heart, making him grin too. 

Ben wholeheartedly believes that this day, will always be his favorite, because of her.


	7. Looking Out

[](https://ibb.co/Nt0VpLF)

Getting home as late as she did that night makes her life awful. Rey’s parents are harder on her, sneaking up on her at every turn, she even woke up to her Mother practically slithering on the floor. While Rey knows she wasn’t, it also wasn’t a dream, maybe she was between being awake and asleep, but she doesn’t know. One moment she’s happily in dreamland dreaming of her collection of times with Ben and the next she’s being pinned down by her Mother piercing Rey with her rage.

Finding it within herself to stay calm when the devil wants horror is the wrong move. Rey’s breathing becomes deep trying to keep her wits about her when her Mother grabs Rey by her hair, hauling her out of bed. It’s a crude fight, one with nails scratching into her skin, backhands across her face while the settings of her Mother’s rings cut into her cheek.

Spending time with Ben was worth it, Rey tries to find her happy place. He makes me feel like a person… I am a person, she tells herself, trying to will herself to speak over her Mother’s madness.

“I know you hate me,” Rey says with finality. “Just end it. Okay?”

Her Mother’s had halts high above her head, hearing what her oldest daughter has to say.

“I know I’m a mistake. Dad told me. When I hit my brother,” she nods. A bubble of spit forms as she tries to speak again. “I know I don’t belong here. I never asked to be born! You and Dad… you’ve always blamed me for being your mistake and no matter what I do I can’t get over that hurtle. I accept that now.”

Seconds later her father is in her face spitting curses at her so vile for ever bringing up such putrid lies.

“How could you say that about your father?” her mother plays innocent. “The one that always played with you, cared for you.”

Rey shakes her head promising she remembers all of the events… “It’s why I’ve tried so hard to be a part of this family. I changed for you, I gave up everything and everyone that has ever mattered to me, so that I could live the lie.”

Her mother spits curses of her own, “And what lie is that?”

“That you love me…” Rey starts to sob; her tears fall from her lashes just shy of stinging the raised skin on her cheeks. 

The two of them hate hearing that, even if it is true, the last thing they needed to hear is that rumor going around. It would tarnish their names for sure! And so, the punishment came.

___

The next day, Rey finishes her chores, breakfast, then cleans up after as she always does. She signs over control of her bank account to her mother who transfers Rey’s hard-earned funds into her mother’s account. She then, purposely uses the bank card to make purchases against Rey’s negative balance, a pack of gum and a magical thirty-five-dollar fee pops up in her account, and then another, and another until she’s spent thousands of dollars against her daughter. Her panic is at a minimum despite their obsession with destroying her.

The secondary account is safe and under her name, with no way to steal from that one. Or so she thinks. That card is safely stored behind her driver’s license. Rey’s brow furrows, deciding to check on this when she gets to the garage.

It’s okay, Rey repeats to herself.

“They don’t know. They didn’t take it. They—” Rey gasps finding it missing. Panicking know, Rey rushes around looking for it in her bag, then the ground trying to make sense of all of this.

Mom got it.

She had to have.

“I need to tell them…Ben,” Rey whispers running to her car.

Ben could help.

He would know what to do.

Rey double checks for her keys and license before hopping in and driving out to work.

When she gets there, Rey parks and practically sprints down to the main office looking for Ben but Poe winds up intercepting her.

“Oh, woah! Slow down,” he says, his voice tends to be jumpy when he doesn’t know what to expect. Rey’s come to know this is just his thing by now.

He’s not laughing at me, she reminds herself.

“Poe? Poe… I need Ben. Unless you can fix the pay checks. I need to stop the direct deposit. Please?! Please?” Rey begs him, turning in his arms.

It’s then when he notices the scratch marks on her face and how she’s covered in one of Ben’s sweatshirts. He knew Rey enough that she only wore that when she was off the clock for lunch, which make his eyes travel from her cheek to her ear which seemed to be fine. When he squints though he can see a patch of hair missing behind it, and what looks like bruising down her neck that suggested more was hiding underneath the fleece of Ben’s shirt.

“Rey,” he nods at her as if she can see herself. “What happened?”

She hasn’t processed the question.

She’s still in search of Ben, scanning the property for him.

“Rey?” Poe tries again. “We’ll handle the money later. Right now, I need to know what happened to your neck!” his voice carries in the wind. Every machine seemed to slow as if the crew needed to know this too.

“I—I fell.”

“Bullshit!” Poe presses. “They hit you, didn’t they?”

Ben emerges out of the office in terror. Someone hit his girl.

Just like Poe, Ben finds himself becoming a flurry of movement ready to examine her out in the open but decides differently noticing her pleading eyes. He clears out the office, pulls the blinds, and asks her to remove the sweatshirt.

Rey shakes her head just slightly, not wanting to.

He won’t understand.

He’ll try to go after them.

They’ll go to jail…what about her brother and sister? What would they do?

She’d never be able to go home.

“Sweetheart. It’s me,” he whispers.

“I know,” Rey’s voice is barely audible.

“Rey,” he steps closer to her, “If you don’t take it off, honey, I’m going to cut the sleeve.”

“Y-You may have to,” she shudders through a yawn.

“Rey,” Ben’s eyes bounce around her face finally resting on her eyes so that she can focus on what he’s saying. “I need you to be very clear with me.”

It’s all she can do to stand and wait for his question.

“Are you abused at home?”

She’s thought so all along but telling him makes it real. Saying something is terrifying.

“I-I thi-ink so?” she drops her gaze to the floor, ashamed she even has to say it.

Ben covers his face with his large hands trying to calm himself down from the raging lunatic he wants to be. It wouldn’t fix anything… in fact it would hurt her, and his girl didn’t need to feel this way. She’s been through enough.

When he’s capable, Ben rises from the table he’d been sitting on to retrieve a pair of scissors from the desk against the windows.

“But this is your favorite—you said…” Rey tries to avoid the inevitable.

“This is just a sweatshirt. A thing. Something I can replace. I can’t replace you,” Ben shakes his head before setting the scissors at the cuff of her wrist.

The scissors are relatively dull making the thought of sewing the sleeve back together a hail Mary play, but the two share something far better while the blade chews up the fabric between them. He’s able to free her from her pain, suggesting they do this to both sides and then he can sew it up after so it’s not obvious that something happened here.

Just as she nods, Ben makes it all the way up to the shoulder, butterflying the sleeve.

“God damnit, Rey,” he whispers. “You meant up the center.”

Rey’s bruising must have colored then if Ben could see them. Doing her best to ignore the fact that they’re there, Rey tells him that it’s not that bad.

The thought makes his head spin.

“It’s been like this before?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean, not exactly?”

“Hitting is new… like really hitting. I’ve gotten backhanded before,” Rey says touching her face absentmindedly. “I was. I was… dragged down the stairs, but I feel like I’ve been hit by a car.”

“Rey, sweetheart, you look like you were run over by a car.” He starts to shake his head again trying to find his composure. “I don’t. You’re not. You aren’t going back there. You can stay with me.“

“Ben, I need you to…”

“I want you to sleep here today. No work, just take one of the offices and sleep.”

“Ben, I,” Rey says as her eyes grow heavy at the mention of sleep.

“And I can get you lunch when you’re rested, but you aren’t going home.”

“I have to.”

“No,” Ben shakes his head.

“My parents, Ben. My mom has my account. Please can you stop the paycheck?”

Ben looks at her curiously.

Is she even listening?

Wait, why on earth would she be paying for them?

And then it hits him.

Her parents follow her in all aspects of her life. 

She really has no way to cut of ties. The thought makes him cringe while another one comes into view. He could get Poe to assist him with this. He could get the man to help end this once in for all.

The day goes as fast as it came for everyone but Ben and Poe, who have been planning their course of action all day leaving just as Rey does. They hang back a few car lengths hoping to be forgotten being that they’re sure she would avoid going all the way home if she suspected she was being followed. Both Poe and Ben remained silent except for a few questions Ben has about Rey and what else, if anything, they saw when Rey pulls into her lot.

“Odd,” Ben says to Poe.

“Look, look, look…” Poe repeats himself to Ben, pulling him away from his phone.

Both of them notice, she’s changed into black leggings, some kind of sweater and some sneakers.

“Does she bring clothes around with her?” Poe questions it.

Ben shakes his head, “I don’t know.” 

It’s hard to remember at a time like this. She’s parked at some garage miles away from her home, Ben confirms looking at the GPS. Did he see that in the back? Maybe she just has a change of clothes. A suitcase seems like it would be just too much to lug around, even for her. He blinks back his fury when he realizes she had to take off his sweatshirt to change. 

He’s not with her. Not the way he thought he’d be. 

She goes through this alone—

“Let me out,” Ben demands. “Meet me here,” he passes his phone to Poe. “Park off to the side though, I don’t need them attacking her on behalf of us,” he says, closing the door. 

Poe nods and heads off in that direction. 

Ben, however, hangs back being that the the town’s not crowded. People pass him in pairs or small groups every so often but not often. 

Following her begins to get easier when the sunsets behind the buildings and he’s shrouded in shadow. His pace quickens, nearly catching up to her. He wants to call out to her, pull her aside and tell her he loves her... that she doesn’t have to do this. They could be together—he could save her. But something about those promises he’s wanted her to accept makes him wonder if she truly feels the same. What if it’s more than that? What if she’s scared of the change? 

Before he knows it, Rey’s walking towards a modern styled house. One that looked clean and beautiful on the outside, surely not the type of place that such horror takes place in, he thinks. 

And yet, his girl is walking up to the garage instead of the front door, her demeanor changed like that of a scared animal. Ben hears the garage door descend, then shouting. 

He looks for Poe, finding him parked to the left of the house under flickering street light around the corner. The two share a hard look before Ben turns his attention back to the house. 

She’s moved...

No, she’s on the move. 

Running through the house.

“Don’t go up stairs,” he whispers as if she could hear him. 

The shadow of her figure moves to the upstairs making him curse, “I said not to...” Next, he’s searching for a place she can jump down to him at. He thinks if he intervenes they could really hurt her remembering Steve and his issues with domestic abuse. Ben shakes his mind free from the pain. Rey needs him.

He needs to stay focused. 

In a flash her figure runs from the house silently, as if making a sound could make her more vulnerable. She’s fast; a blur really. 

If he hadn’t put out his arm to stop her, he’s sure he could have lost her in the darkness. 

Rey squeaks, Ben thinks it may qualify as a yip of sorts making his heart break. 

She’s been doing this for so long she knows not to make a sound. A normal person would have screamed a blood curling shriek that could go on for miles if a stranger in the night grabbed them. But not Rey. 

“Sweetheart. Sweetheart,” he repeats trying to soothe her. “It’s me. It’s Ben,” he tightens his grip around her, calming her as he does. 

Rey’s told him on numerous occasions that he makes her feel safe, like a security blanket, and so he works her down, one soft kiss at a time.  
  



	8. Support

[](https://ibb.co/bFGZSdS)

True to their nature, Rey’s parents who had rushed her around the house are now on the grounds practically snarling like wild animals watching the embodiment of all of their mistakes be caught by some hero.  
Since the light has faded, their figures blend into the background, waiting to strike. Rey knows they’re there, just like how they set themselves up in the house, they’re waiting. All Ben has to do is let go.  
Rey’s stress bubbles over, trying and failing to make much more of a sound. 

It takes Ben a little longer to sooth her until she can actually hear him. 

“Rey, shh,” he hushes her. “I can let go when you calm down, shh.”

She can feel her arms fold in on themselves. 

Don’t, she thinks, don’t let go and all the while her body starts to slow but her mind races. 

No. No. No. 

Ben slowly releases his hold on her finding it hard to let go completely. She’s pressed herself closer to him still panicked, she looks back hoping Ben will be enough. Hoping that she’s safe. 

They wouldn’t drag their fight out here. 

The neighbors would know. 

Does she want them to know?

Do they matter in the first place?

She feels his hand rest at the base of her spine, guiding her to his car, his other arm sheltering her as if he’d become a force field. 

“Did they touch you?” he whispers.

“N-no. I ran.”

Ben nods, opening the door to the front seat, instructing her to get comfortable. His booming voice carries purposefully, telling Poe they were headed to the police station as a warning to the creatures she called parents, before sliding into the backseat. 

As uncomfortable as he is, Ben puts Rey first. She deserved as much. 

Poe locks the doors first so that Rey knows she’s safe even if she doesn’t pick up on it right away. She’s manages to put on her seat belt and balls herself up in the seat. Poe looks over at her and then to Ben through the rear view mirror suggesting with his eyes to talk to her. 

As if he wasn’t. 

Ben had been talking through her anxiety attack since he caught her, stopping only briefly to indirectly address her parents. He struggles to maneuver the back seat, shifting over towards her as if he was stuck in a sleeping bag. By the time Ben’s done inching his way back to his girl, Poe heads off in the direction of the police station. 

Rey shudders a yawn coming back down from her tense state, asking, “How did you know where I lived?”

Ben winced knowing full well that even though they had been considered an item, they never went out. He’d never been over, and she never asked. At times he felt like she was hiding something or that maybe she was ashamed of him outside of work being that he couldn’t decide on what he wanted to do with his life. But Rey was different. She didn’t seem to react the same way when he told her his life’s story. Most people he knew judged him, but Rey didn’t. She was genuinely happy to see him after a while… so pressing someone to be their friend was the wrong way to go. Now that he thinks about it, it really wasn’t right and maybe she gave in because she’d been pressured to give in so many times in her life. That, he regrets. Their blossoming friendship after the fact, he would live over in a heartbeat. 

Rey was so full of life, the opposite of what she is now. She looks like a shell of herself. Tired. Defeated. Scared. His Rey. His Rey was none of those. The woman he grew to know, and love is passionate about everything she does. She’d learned and had taken over the morning check-ins like it was nothing. She knew how to talk to the representatives in a way that was both professional and sarcastic making moving out the content of the containers easier. People and products moved along for Rey. Her transformation had been beautiful. 

Ben thinks about when he asked her out the first time, how hesitant she was. Had he have known she was fighting these demons all along he would have taken her far away from there the moment he found out… but she never said a word.

“Your paycheck.”

Rey’s eyes widen remembering what she asked him before.

“Don’t worry; I changed them from direct deposit to singular checks. We can get all of that straightened out in the morning in terms of where you want to send them now,” Ben swallows wanting to ask her to move in with him. Instead he presses on needing her to relax and listen to their plan. 

Poe starts to move, pulling out from his spot and driving down the road. Headlights from passing cars, lit store signs and lamp posts reflect in the window curves like shooting stars. She’s being transported, she feels it. This is the step, the friends she needed. A lump in her throat forms hearing the hum of Ben’s voice in the background. She wants to listen but there’s little that makes sense anymore. Time passes around them. The noise of the day is gone. Even when they park and move from the car into the police station, she feels… new, weightless. 

The hardest part is over. 

Ben’s hand holds hers as they pass through the doors. 

As new as it seems, she is not afraid. 

“Hi, I’m Ben. This is Rey, the one I called about. She needs to talk to someone, and we need restraining orders on her family, mainly her parents,” Ben starts, then asks Rey to remove her sweater.  
Rey doesn’t speak, doing exactly as he’d asked. 

Removing the sweater is hard. It’s not heavy. Its not embarrassing. Her body is just sore now. Her face though she doesn’t want to display pain, morphs along with her motion. The tank she has on under it shifts just so, showing the darkening color of her skin. Deep purples and blues swirl around her spine from her hip up to her shoulder, fading out in tendrils of color up her neck. 

Rey does her best to keep the garment on her arms as it is cold in the office, but a staff member she doesn’t see asks her to remove the whole thing. 

“We just want to make sure it doesn’t continue, honey. That’s all,” a woman’s voice says.

The other two male officers on in the building itself look at each other. This town was known for small things like interrupting house parties and needing assistance with school related issues such as injuries or standing in as security during lunch periods. Otherwise, their division aided surrounding towns and engaged in patrol, which is where the remainder of their staff is now. 

“You said her parents are responsible for this?” an officer rounds his desk to assess the situation. His name plate read, Kenobi. 

“Yes sir,” Ben nods. 

The officer grimaced and his brow furrowed in thought for a moment. “Do you have time to talk to us about it, miss?”

“Yes sir,” Rey agrees. “May I put this back on?”

“Yes, yes…” he agrees, waving his hand over her form. “Come in and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right over.”

The conversation went just as well as Rey would have thought. There were inquiries about dates and how often she felt stress within the house. She had to describe all the events that she could remember, even the ones she couldn’t or was trying to block. They discussed therapy and a place where she could be where she wasn’t alone. Ben sat through all of it, offering his place to her for as long as she wanted. To that she stopped and looked up at him. His eyes were soft and kind just as he’d been so many times with her before. 

“You’d let me live with you?”

“Well, yeah. I mean I was going to ask… and would have asked sooner but… I don’t know. I thought it was the wrong time and all of this was happening… I didn’t want you to feel like you were being pushed into anything,” Ben rushes out. 

It’s a genuine offer, she can feel it. 

Rey’s smile spreads softly, agreeing to this change. One of many she’s made in the last couple hours. 

Another hour passes and the paperwork is completed for her restraining orders. Neither one of them, nor her brother or sister can come in contact with her. To this she winces. There’s a glimmer of gold on that horizon but she can still feel the pain of their darkness trying to swallow her whole. 

“It’ll take some getting used to,” Officer Kenobi says. “But you’ll get through.” 

All that’s left is her signature confirming the request.

Is it weird that it’s hard to hold the pen?

Is it weird that it’s hard to breathe?

When Rey does gain hold over it, pressing the tip to the page, the pen glides on its own as if it’s telling her this is right.

At the very last curve of her name, it’s done. 

She’s free. 

Ben watches Rey take the papers she’s given. She seems so insecure, but like the officer said, that would change. Rey, his Rey, is heading out the door with him, gathering Poe as they go.

“I know it’s going to be hard, but I want you to pursue them for what they did to you, if for nothing but the justice they deserve. You shouldn’t have to go into hiding because they’re around and could find you. You should feel like you can own your life and do what you want, when you want…” Ben says. 

“Within reason. I mean we can’t have you throwing cupcakes at every barge you see,” Poe interrupts. 

“Ugh, for the last time, I didn’t throw that,” Ben groans but stops when he hears Rey start bubbling up with laughter. 

“The captain said the gull were at it for most of the ride out of the port, had to get someone to try to spray it down.”

“Okay, okay. Speaking of ravenous eaters,” Ben returns, watching Rey perk up. “Did you pick up anything?”

“Yeah, takeout is in the car. Speaking of, can we go pick up yours?” Poe asks Rey. 

Rey blushes knowing they know her secret. “I—yeah, yeah we can go… I park it in a garage a few blocks back.”

Poe nods, heading to the car, not needing directions. 

“Did you guys…” Rey stops moving for a second. “Did you guys follow me home?”

“Would answering that make you like us any less?” Poe asks first.

“Yes, it was my call,” Ben says over his friend. “I was worried about you. I asked you to stay and you still went back. What else was I supposed to do?”

“We!”

Rey nods sliding into the back, giving the front back to Ben who clearly needed it. “Thank you,” she says. “I don’t think I could have gotten this far without you guys. 

“You could have,” Poe says. “Just like you got past the emotional block at work.”

“Just like you climbed the crane ladder with me,” says Ben.

“Phas wouldn’t even do that when she started and she’s taller than you Ben…”

“Phas wouldn’t climb it at all. I don’t know how she got past that; do you remember?”

“Ah, yeah. You bet her that she couldn’t, and she despised you for it.”

“And so, on and so on, and now she’s an operator.”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Poe grins. 

“Yeah you did. You bet her my lunch she couldn’t perfect the line like I could,” Ben boasts. 

“Worth it though. Totally worth it. Is that why you stopped bringing your lunch?”

“Yes, it was easier to give her five bucks instead of have her gloat that she got my subs.”

The more Ben and Poe get into it the more Rey’s been able to eat. She downed her meal, some fries, and half her soda before they got to the garage. 

Upon inspection, Poe noted she did in fact have a suitcase of her clothes in the back with a padlock on it. The only reason he figured it had clothes in it was because of the garments stuffed under and around it. Socks and what he thought was a towel –a few used work shirts and her jeans alongside it, he just knew it was worse than he thought. Driving Rey’s Jeep was a different experience than Ben’s car. For one, he found out what she and Ben had been referring to as Ole’ Spaniard. The fact that it wasn’t him makes him smile. 

He isn’t that old to be called Ole’, he thought at least. 

Poe finds that following Ben and Rey home is rewarding. He can see them, even this late in the night with her head pressed against his shoulder. It reminds him of his wife who he checked in with while Rey was recounting occurrences with the officers on that night. Just knowing she was safe and letting her know he was thinking of her keeps him together.

When they arrive at Ben’s, Poe gives the two a knowing look, telling them he called for an uber. 

“Get a receipt and the company will pay for it, time and a half.”

Poe looks at him curiously. 

“You can’t do that, can you?”

“I can and I did. You’re welcome to come in and wait if you’d like,” offers Ben.

“Nah, nah… they’re two minutes out.”

“Then we’ll wait with you,” suggests Rey. 

A puff of pride fills his chest when she smiles… he knew they did the right thing, but when she leans against Ben, the two share a look, each knowing what the other is thinking.

There’s the Rey they know.


	9. Good Job

[](https://imgbb.com/)

Living with Ben has been in a word, comforting. He’s in all parts of her day, the ground to her foundation is anything but pulling her down. It’s the very opposite, actually.

True to what Ben claimed on the way out of the police station, the company’s attorney found it necessary that he step in on behalf of her case. Not that anyone would have turned her down being that the proof, witnesses, and loss of funds was present, but mainly because she was and still is an employee at Han’s and Son’s at the time. Representing her meant that he could also assess damages that could have been put on Han and Son’s during the same time.

Showing up for that went without saying.

Rey went in a sun dress, her hair tied up three buns, no make-up as she always appeared without. Naturally, Ben had been sweet enough to tell her that she didn’t need it. No one had ever told her she was beautiful before him. And so, she showed up as she was, his shining star for the hearing.

Her parents made no appearance.

Typical.

It all seemed to happen so fast but by the end she had been ensured that her brother and sister were taken care of while her parents both experienced their sentences and managed to finalize their plan to payout Rey’s losses and then some. The settlement had been enough to move forward, having the ability to start a new life anywhere.

But…

It’s not what she wanted.

Rey has other plans for this.

It had taken months to acquire every last penny from the settlement, but once she had it, Rey turned to Ben and Han to do the right thing. She wanted to give it back to her work family. The men and women that looked out for her went far past just Poe and Ben. While they were of the familiar faces that had been in constant contact, the crew she learned had a part in it too.

“Money is a strange thing to give out,” Han said to Rey when they were figuring out just how to do it.

It took a few days to run the numbers against each of the crewmen but when Ben figured it out, Han and Son’s footed the bill to compensate for the taxes that would be removed on the bonuses. Each stub had a note underneath it with a simple thank you, before they were run through paychex and distributed the following week.

Confused members pushed in and out of the office trying to make sense of the numbers. None complaining, most wanting to thank Han, who threw it to Ben as instructed by Rey. Her decision for this leaned whole heartedly on how he had been her hero through these last few months and all.

In the time between then and now, Rey has been training for her license. Loading exports was far easier for her than unloading imports. If she had to hear Ben radio in from the ground one more time about eating her lunch, she was going to go crazy. Not really. It just upped the ante regarding mastering this skill as Ben knew how to cook and she always looked forward to eating anything he prepared for her. Lunch was off the table! Rey would get this right. She just would.

Today is no different.

Well, it is in a sense.

Ben is on the dock with Poe getting it ready before dawn. Within the year, he’d taken over for his father, allowing him to come and go as he wanted. It seemed to be easier this time with Rey by his side helping him see that there is more to him than just being the boss’ son. Her hero is more than that and their crew knows. She promised him the way he promised her all that time ago that she’d be there. He didn’t have to feel like an outcast, he could be more because he is more. The moment he started believing it, they did too.

Today, as Rey passes them, Ben makes his usual comment about her lunch and she swats him. Gently of course. Just enough to let him know today is off limits.

“Don’t get in my head,” she grins.

“Sweetheart, I’m always in your head.”

“Oh my god, let me go barf!” whines Poe.

“I’d never have pegged you to be so dramatic, Poe,” Ben laughs.

“Oh please, that’s not even my best work!”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Ben retorts. “Speaking of surprises…”

“It’s not exactly one, Ben. It’s on the calendar here, at home, and on both of our phones,” Rey says trying to hide her smile.

“What?” asks Poe.

“It’s test day! Yay!” Ben flails his arms excitedly.

“Shit, already?” Poe looks behind them and up at the crane. “She’s using yours?”

“Yep.”

“You know you have to stay down here, no radio or anything right?”

“Yep. We’ve been practicing,” he winks at Rey. “Why don’t you get moving? The sooner you do the sooner we’ll be sending your picture through Han’s old lamination device.”

“That is not what you do with it—”

“Relax, he’s just playing with you,” Rey brushes by Ben on her way over, briefly looking back over her shoulder, as the sunlight floods through the lot.

This climb. It’s different. She’s done it before. Thousands of times in the past year have been on her own. But none of them made her feel as though she’s truly alone. Ben’s presence was always with her, every climb. She thought of the first time when he begged to be her friend and then again when she agreed. The entire year passed before her eyes during that climb. Once she reaches the top, she imagines his hand as hers reaching for their future.

Their future.

Rey nods at this.

Theirs.

It’s time, she says to herself, sliding into his—their seat.  
Her readiness eagerly flows through her body as if electricity is racing around keeping her hyper charged and aware of her surroundings. The feeling is sort of like a supernatural power, but she knows it’s from her settling nerves.

Beautiful.

There had never been a time where she felt so ready.  
In control.

And yet, here in this tiny glass box thousands of feet in the air, moving containers filled with delicate items, Rey feels peace. She feels at home. Like she could drop one and it would all be okay—it wouldn’t. She knows this, but the very thought of not stressing out about it is mind blowing.

Rey’s moving containers with ease, her radio going off loudly beside her, she pays no mind to it. The volume is for safety, she’s handled this and other aspects of her life to the “T” as therapy had suggested. Now? Now she can see the people for who they are. There’re still some anxiety larger things but she’s got it for most.  
It’s all muscle movement now, tiny changes, watching the wind and how the containers swing slightly before putting them down within their sections. One and then the next until she’s cleared the entire left side of the ship.

Chatter seems to slow now.

Phas’ crane stops in mid-grab. Forklifts stop and people start to pour out of their respective places and all she can do is wait.

One short beep followed by two more signal for her to check in.

“Rey,” she waits like Poe did, “go.”

“Why don’t you come down and we’ll discuss your progress on the ground,” Ben says.

Progress?

“Okay, coming down.”

Getting out of the cab always reminds her of her time with Ben growing short. Having to say good by at the end of the shift back then was hard. Now, it had been the most rewarding thing to finish. Training with Ben pushed her to be better, to see more…feel more. And when her last step came, finding her footing now on the ground instead of the ladder, Ben nods to Poe to tell her the fines that Han and Son’s will be footing for crossing the lines.

“We’ll, you’ve certainly made a daily record to beat,” he says spouting the number at less than six grand and change.

Rey can’t hide her response. She squeals like a girl—she’s been told before.

“Give it to me straight, Ben, I want to hear it from you! Did I pass?”

Ben’s widening grin matches her own. The first downward bob of his nod has her jumping for joy. Relief washes over her suddenly finding herself bracing his forearms with her hands. She moves in, throwing her arms around his neck to pull him close. Some would call it a hug—outsiders would, but their crew knew different. 

“Thank you!” Rey whisper shouts in his ear, before leaning her cheek against his.

“I should be thanking you,” Ben braces his arms around her waist.

“And why’s that?” Rey pulls away so she can look into his eyes when he speaks.

Ben looks at her shyly, his admiration obvious.

“Because you’re my hero,” he smiles watching her’s widen too. 

Emboldened by Ben’s admission, Rey cards her fingers through his hair, pulling him close enough for her to reach him. A curtain of hair falls shielding the two somewhat from their crew, Rey whispers against his lips, “You’re mine, too.”

No sooner do they lock lips, there on the dock, do the guys start their own version of congratulatory sounds. They start with their cat calls, whistles and Bill somewhere in the background shouting, “Get a room,” which startles Han into the conversation with a reply of his own. 

“I guess, welcome to the family, kid, in more ways than one,” says Han patting Rey’s shoulder. And then a look of respect passes between him and his son, finishing what he started, saying, “Good job, son.”


End file.
